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Fixtures Man Television Transcripts
February 2004

7th February

This week fixtures man has been reading up on the political situation in the Middle East. He is now an expert on Iraq - with some chrome-plated toast racks,
like theeese!

Oi Oi, pipe down - with some plastic 's' bends,
like theeese!

And Fixtures Man loves going to the alps, he's a keen snowboarder - with some boarder tiles,
like theeeeeese!

14th February

As Fixtures Man is really cool and funny and great at talking to girls.
Here is some advice for Valentines day.

Don't worry if your pining for a loved one - with some wooden spindles,
like theeese!

Any why not say it with showers - with some plastic shower curtains,
like theeeese!

And if you play yours cards right, you could be baking out with a lady by the end of the night - with some baking trays,
like theeeeese!

You may write to fixtures man via the mega-shed.

21st February

Whenever Fixtures Man goes out into the community, he's always touched by your support - with some plant support rings,
like theeese!

Some people who meet Fixtures Man even bake him a cake, using some castor sugar - with wheels,
like theeeese!

And if it wasn't for his many fans, Fixtures Man wouldn't have such a big wedge - with some door stops,
like theeese!

It's taken a week, but Fixtures Man has finally worked his way through the hundreds of Valentines cards that have been sent to the mega-shed,
Here are the highlights:
This week's shout-out goes to a secret admirer from Oldham,
And a wave goes to Tammy Greening.

Remember, Fixtures Man is for life, not just for Valentines Day.

28th February

All the ladies in the house, let me hear you scream.

As you know, Fixtures Man comes from the streets and often gets in trouble with the police.
In fact, only last week he had a brush with the law - with some door bottom brush seals,
like theeese!

Fixtures Man is no stranger to crime; he's been known to steal - with some metal gate springs,
like theeeese!

And if you stick to Fixtures Man, watch out, he might clock you - with some wall clocks,
like theeeeese!

You can write to the F-Man at the usual address.

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